The Legacy of Shah Rukh Khan

Every week on social media is a new life-lesson, and last week witnessed the outpouring of love and admiration for Shah Rukh Khan across my wall, my feed, my neighbourhood and my soul.

Every year, Indians rise up in admiration for a celebrity. Till a few years ago, it was Sachin Tendulkar’s birthday that littered my wall. Now, it is Shah Rukh Khan. I suspect this is a digital carrying-forward of Gandhi Jayanti and Buddha Jayanti and Hanuman Jayanti and all the other Jayantis that we observe in our country.

I also got to watch the David Letterman interview that was very smartly plugged in by Netflix. The interview was hardly a surprise, as was David Letterman. The entire episode seemed to be shot through the lens of exotic Asian superstardom. There were no questions about films or acting – and the only time Letterman mentioned a film (DDLJ), he got it wrong. Of course, Shah Rukh Khan bossed the interview. He is probably the only celebrity who doesn’t wear that insufferable mask of Indian humility.

The outpouring of Birthday messages made me realise something else about Shah Rukh Khan’s celebrity. There was no mention of his films or acting – it was sheer love, across ages and regions. Teenagers who were born after Shah Rukh Khan made his last great movie. Older people who were born before Shah Rukh Khan himself was. Even in my shows, when I ask people what movies they watch – I invariably get a few Shah Rukh Khan fans.

But there was something sad about it all too.

The tributes that were flowing in weren’t really about his craft or body of work. They were about his origin story – of a Delhi boy breaking into and ruling the big, bad world of Bollywood. They were about his wit and charm, with an almost resigned tone about the future of his films.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t watch Shah Rukh Khan’s films at the peak of his popularity. And yet, I had a personal relationship with Shah Rukh Khan’s films. I started watching films the year Shah Rukh Khan debuted on the screen. The first two films I ever watched were Hatim Tai – starring Jeetendra and bad VFX, and Maine Pyar Kiya – on a small, black-and-white television set. My family believed films were harmful for children and I was banned from watching films or humming their songs.

Which was all fine, till puberty perturbedly knocked on the door. Our class had a Narada-muni of sorts. A guy whose parents were cool with him watching movies at home. This guy would watch all the latest movies and come back to narrate minute-by-minute descriptions of the films.

Sometimes, the descriptions were more detailed than the films – ‘And then Rani Mukherjee comes to the college in a see-through pearl dress…

‘Just pearls?’

‘Just pearls’. 

The descriptions were also generally longer than the actual movie’s duration, which helped during long meditation and bhajan sessions.

Meditation sessions which were supposed to be about getting rid of thoughts, were filled with images of Shah Rukh Khan running in slow motion towards Anjali or Pooja or Neha. During vacations when I heard songs at shops or at weddings, I knew the exact situations the songs popped up in.

These were the years when Shah Rukh Khan was on a roll. Every year brought along a few hits by the man, and I would ask my friend to narrate and re-narrate the stories and imagine them all playing out in my head. Which is why, even though I find the word ‘fan’ rather cringey, I have a special relationship with his movies, and have probably cracked what he needs to do get back on track!

*

The last three decades in Hindi Cinema will be known as the era of the three Khans. Three non-brawny men who rewrote the rules of a 50-year old game that required the heroes to bash up goons and change society with one sweep of the hand.

Among the three, it is not hard to see that Shah Rukh Khan is clearly the better actor. There are films that nobody else could have pulled off. Using a blend of charm and vulnerability, the man changed the grammar of the Hero. It is difficult to imagine the current brand of Bollywood stars ruling the roost without the grammatical changes that Shah Rukh Khan made to the mould of the Bollywood hero. Shah Rukh Khan is also blessed with spontaneity, something that is rare in our superstars.

Unfortunately, after a point, the longevity of a star depends on the films that the actor produces. It is no surprise that the biggest Hollywood superstars – Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio produce their own films. And that is where Shah Rukh Khan has struggled.

Films produced by Shah Rukh Khan all have one common factor. On paper, they all seem game-changing and genre-bending. But when they finally materialise, they bring along all the excitement of semiya upma.

From Asoka to Ra.One to Zero, the films have done so badly, I’m surprised Bejan Daruwalla hasn’t asked the production house to be rechristened Lemon and Green Chillies Entertainment.

And at the other end of the spectrum is Aamir Khan. Mostly a template of stock expressions being played out over 30 years. His dialogue delivery from Andaz Apna Apna to Secret Superstar is honestly much the same. There are stock expressions for anger, sorrow and resolve. But Aamir Khan is a great producer, and that is half the battle won.

The role of a producer, the visionary behind the project – is enticing. But many great actors have burnt their fingers in trying to be the visionary. Sprawling film empires have been reduced to rented studios because of the unbending vision of its leader.

And here, I shall become Bejan Daruwalla. Aamir Khan should produce a film for Shah Rukh Khan. A film where he is required to only act.

For that is what he finally is. An actor. And maybe that is what people should remember him for. Nobody remembers Marlon Brando for his drunken outbursts. Or Sachin Tendulkar for his table tennis matches.

Shah Rukh Khan’s best performances have all been in films where he was just the actor. Where his only task was to emote in front of a camera, and play a different shade of vulnerable.

Aamir Khan should produce the film, and Shah Rukh Khan should act in it, and Salman Khan should provide outside support.

May be then the actor will be remembered for his acting, and not his wit, charm or other complimentary qualities.

*****

If you’re a fan of Shah Rukh Khan, you should read my other blogs on him:
1. Yeh Jo Bhes Hai Tera

2. How I knew Jab Tak Hai Jaan would be crap.

3. The World of South Indians according to Shah Rukh Khan. 

Why I stayed away from the Aamir Khan Intolerance debate

I have spent a good part of the last five years on Facebook.

Not the early days, when Facebook was a glorified Orkut, and people were still sharing pictures, stalking pretty girls, and generally being nice to each other. Not that Facebook.

I am talking about the Facebook where people log in at 9 AM, and pour out their fears, beliefs, and political ideologies when dear old Facebook asks them ‘What’s on your mind?’

However, through much of last week, I filled my wall with terrible PJs.

Eg. Every Diwali, I loathe those holier than thou messages. ‘Diwali mein Ali hai, Ramzan mein Ram hai. Toh? Mongolia mein Mongia hai, naachun, behenchod?’

It’s not much of a joke, to be honest. But I put my foot down and refused to get drawn into an argument over the Aamir Khan intolerance debate. Here’ why.

IT IS FUCKING STUPID.

It is something the media does, and something we fall for, every single time. This is their modus operandi. At a press event, ask somebody who has NO relation to politics, a political question.

It might be a Baba who just spent a good part of his afternoon twisting his hand around his back and bringing it out from the front. It might be an actress who has spent a decade in India but can barely speak an Indian language. Or an actor who has been in movies since he passed out of school.

If you ask me about Quantum Physics, I’ll probably say gravity is caused by a gigantic underground spider’s asshole.

We need to stop asking political questions to our religious heads, actors and sportspersons. For one, they haven’t spent time in colleges, reading and getting an informed opinion on issues. And they are bound to mouth something idiotic.

WHICH IS WHAT THE MEDIA LOVES.

 

The Aamir Khan incident was another example of their terrific acumen. They take a portion of a speech, print out reams of paper and pages on the web, and leave the rest of us to trip over it tirelessly on our Facebook pages.

I am growing weary of Facebook by the day. The way Facebook is going, makes you wish back fondly for Orkut. Orkut days were actual achhe din. You logged in, said nice stuff to people you knew, checked the profiles of people you liked, and went back to desibaba.com. Simpler days.

Ever since the Anna Hazare movement – the Big Bang of online activism – happened, all of Facebook has slowly turned into a Wasseypur. On one side you have the jingoistic right, and on the other the cynical left. The Centre doesn’t matter. Because Rahul Gandhi.

And the online Wasseypur is at it for half a decade now. The Left liberals throng one corner of the space. They are the kinds that the enemies like to refer to as Sickulars and Presstitudes. Because let’s face it, if there is ONE group keeping things classy on the internet, it is the BJP.

The liberals are the Ramadhir Singhs. Experienced, softer, but incisive and effective. The BJP guys are the Khans. Faizal, Daanish, and Sardar Khan. They are inexperienced, but hot-blooded. The kinds who begin shooting at the drop of a hat, going berserk, living their online lives on the edge, for they may be blocked or deactivated at any point.

 

I used to be a part of the mob, too. I used to put up my political musings on my wall, and gently collect the logs together, bring my friends, and light the wood. And then I would sit and watch the fire grow, twisting the wood a bit, blowing into it, adding a little fuel to the fire.

And I would spend days engaging in such arguments. But these days, I feel like Bheeshma. I want to lie on my bed of arrows and watch the proceedings, but pray do not draw me into the quagmire, O Shakuni!

At the end of a week, we all proved that Aamir Khan was right all along.

I mean, the guy said something, it got twisted into something else, and everybody lost their fucking minds. And so what if he said it, man? Big fucking deal.

I have felt the same way many a time. There have been lots of times I wished I could leave the country. In spite of me being born here, my country doesn’t give me the best amenities. I am an honest, law-abiding citizen who contributes to the nation’s economy.

What do I get in return? Terrible government healthcare, abysmal transportation facilities, a police force that is both sloppy and slimy. There have been moments I have wanted to leave the country because I couldn’t take a walk on a road with a woman I like. Without having people call names, or flash their dicks out.

I have felt like leaving the country a lot of times. And it doesn’t make me an evil person. And even if it does, fuck you. You’re not the Taliban. I will say what I want to say. You can go fuck yourselves, guys.

 

Uh, oh.

I just wrote an angry, rant-y blog about the issue. Damn it.

You see what I mean? I need to leave Facebook, man.

Fuck Facebook.

Why Is Aamir Khan Such a Pretentious Prick

Once upon a time in India, Lagaan released.

The film was a smash hit, was sent as our choice for the Oscars (but couldn’t win, as the jury grew old and died during the interval) and Aamir Khan suddenly became the thinking man’s conscience. The guy who would never attend film awards because he didn’t believe in them, suddenly seemed to be jumping up and down the red carpet, promoting his film. But of course, he was doing it for the nation.

When Lagaan lost out to No Man’s Land, Aamir Khan told the press that the other film deserved to win. When I saw it, said Khan, I knew that it was better than ours. From that moment on, Aamir Khan has somehow projected and marketed himself as the voice of the nation/youth/continent/solar system.

And it’s fucking annoying.

*

Alright, so he chooses to do one movie at a time, reads his scripts, and does extensive preparation for it. But all that is fucking expected from an actor in the first place. Just because ours is a hare-brained industry, doesn’t make someone a goddamn Socrates.

A few months before the release of Rang De Basanti, Aamir Khan sat with the Narmada Bachao Andolan protesters to speak up for their rights. Since then, there has been no word of his involvement with the issue whatsoever.

He then made a film on Mangal Pandey, and has been on a Bhagat Singh trip since, telling the nation what’s right, and what’s offensive. In Taare Zameen Par, he showed us how we are all a cruel, insensitive nation that doesn’t know how to deal with special children. In 3 Idiots, he showed us what is wrong with our education system. In PK, he showed us the problems with religion and godmen.

And tactful and insightful that our media is, we made him the voice of the nation. Aamir Khan tells the nation not to litter. Aamir Khan tells the nation to be nice to foreigners. Aamir Khan tells the nation to be nice to foreigners.

Aamir Khan is a thinking man. How? Because all his films have long shots of him staring into the distance, thinking about the welfare of the cosmos. Aamir Khan is a perfectionist. Why? Because he undergoes a physical transformation for every role (which, as any theatre actor will tell you, is the fucking basic thing to do. Also, he gets paid crores for every film). Aamir Khan is a socially aware star. How? Because he blogs about issues.

However, as we all know, even Vishwamitra’s penance was disturbed. So Aamir Khan, the ever-aware thinking man’s Gautam Buddha slipped out of character and blogged about Shah Rukh Khan licking his toes while he sat on his table.

And of course, there is Satyameva Jayate. Now, I personally have no problems with the show. A star like Aamir Khan talking about issues that we Indians never bother to speak about, is commendable. Kudos.

I also have no problem with him projecting himself as this new-age Carl Shehnanigan who tells the nation how to live – much of an actor’s image comes from this. It is no different from Salman Khan being the large-hearted bhai, Ranveer Singh being a horny guy, and Honey Singh the nation’s Mahalingam. I have no problems with that.

Look at my tears…so pure, so pristine. Just like my soul. Which is pure white. Just like the clouds there. I am the sun. Sun and clouds. Deep.

My only problem is with Aamir Khan’s opinions on other artists. You see, Mr. Perfectionist doesn’t give a fuck about other artists. His work is sublime and pure and unadulterated and heavenly. The rest can go fuck themselves.

Can you see the concern in my eyes? No? Well, that’s none of my concern. I am sensitive. I hope you can sense my sensitivity.

Take for example the controversy regarding 3 Idiots.

Now, even though Chetan Bhagat is the Rakhi Sawant of Indian literature, he wrote the book and sold millions, and no one can take that away from him. If you’ve read 5 Point Someone, and watched 3 Idiots, and you possess the IQ of a garden lizard, you’ll know that the film is more or less an adaptation of the book. However, since it is Bollywood (and fuck writers!), Bhagat wasn’t given opening credits. He raked up the issue and Vidhu Vinod Chopra asked a journalist to ‘Shut Up’. Which is at least an honest response.

Mr. Khan, however, using his special 8^th Sense, somehow had it all figured out. He told Bhagat off in public, calling him a cheapskate who will do anything for publicity. Which is fine, till someone asked him if he’s read the book. To which his response was – ‘Ahem, no.’

How the fuck do you know that it isn’t an adaptation, if you haven’t even read the goddamn book? But Aamir Khan, yo. Intellectual actor.

When he released Delhi Belly, he appeared on Aap Ki Adalat (that classy, artful show with a completely non-creepy looking host), and justified the language in the film. His logic was, the youth of the nation today talk in that manner. If you can not stand such language, please don’t watch the film. All good.

Now, the AIB controversy. Since our media has no fucking work, they went and asked Aamir Khan, the brahmaguru of wisdom, what he thought. Aamir Khan first looked at the sky, blinked seven times, sipped some water, and then gave out his thoughts. That the show was offensive, hurt people’s sentiments, blah blah blah.

But then, here’s the key – HE HASN’T WATCHED THE FUCKING SHOW.

If you haven’t watched the show, and someone randomly told you there were jokes on body shape, sexuality, and religion without providing any context, it’s the partial truth. You’re like the blind man of Hindustan who held the elephant’s ass and thought that’s what an elephant looks like.

But no. Aamir Khan ko kaun samjhaye? He is the voice of the cosmos.

The universe works in perfect motion because he approves of it. Every time Aamir Khan sheds a tear, a kid in Africa gets cured of AIDS.

It’s bloody annoying.

*

Dear Aamir Khan, This isn’t the 60s. Where you could do a few patriotic movies and become a national hero. The audience you deal with is thirty years younger to you, a completely different generation.

They understand subtleties, read between the lines, and can tell an actor from a chutiya. Just because you did regressive shit for 20 years, and suddenly conscience struck you like lightning, doesn’t mean the rest of the nation is a bunch of chimpanzees.

Also, like Russel Peters said, you are an actor. You appear on the set, mouth lines written by others, get numerous takes to perfect your craft, and get paid a bomb for it. Which is all fine.

But just like you’re an artist, there are others too. Who are attempting to make an honest living by pursuing what they think is art. If you really are an artist, at least have the fucking decency to look up their work before commenting.

Like I said, you’re not fooling anybody. This is a generation that sees through bullshit. And right now, for all your decades of carefully constructed PR, you come across as an aging douchebag.

I hope you aren’t offended by this blog. But if you are, I hope you at least read it before getting offended.

 

Movie Review : PK. Mostly OK, but a little pheekay.

Five minutes into PK, you feel a familiar sense of joy.

There are very few filmmakers in India who transport you into a different world like Hirani does. Of course, there is Bhansali, but the worlds he attempts to transport you to seem like the shreds of a bad MDMA trip.

Hirani, meanwhile, is a good tab on a sunny winter morning, where you can feel the chill on your skin, and the warmth in your eyes. And as you look around you, everything in your vicinity transforms into a joyous, delightful utopia.

Hirani’s films are distinct in their imagery – you could tell a Hirani film just by looking at a frame. The skies are blue, the clouds carelessly white. The buildings blemishless, the people good natured. And amidst the wonderland, is a hero who sets out to make you think.

I shall waste no time in going through the premise, as most reviewers and channels must have done it for you. What I’d rather say is that PK grips you from the very first frame. A joyride that barely lets you take a breather, PK is a winner all the way.

Watching it in a single screen theatre in Bhubaneswar, PK reminded me of the magical quality of films. There is no director in present day India who elicits the whistles, hoots, applause, laughter and tears in the way Rajkumar Hirani does.

Watching PK was cathartic for me. A throwback to the days when films could move an entire audience in a tidal wave of emotions. In a time of such attention deficiency when even two free seconds mean a quick message sent over the phone.

The person sitting next to me had his phone out in the beginning of the movie. But ten minutes in, he couldn’t do it anymore. He slipped his phone into his pocket, and his abnormally large elbow on the arm of the chair.

Every few minutes, his elbow would jiggle. And somewhere in the climax, he moved his elbow, ran his fingers along his face, and quickly brought the elbow back to the arm.

Sitting right next to me was a living testimony to what Hirani does with the medium of cinema, in a way that only he can.

If you haven’t watched PK yet, please go ahead and watch it.
***

Please do not read any further if you haven’t watched the movie. I’m serious. It’ll ruin your experience, and a brave, endearing film as PK deserves to be watched for an honest, unbiased first experience. You can always come back to read this section after watching the film, and tell me if it makes sense.
Good. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, here is another opinion on the film.

I laughed and hooted and cheered, but deep within, I felt a pang of pain. After the interval, the film slipped into familiar rhetoric territory. Somewhere in the beginning of the second half, I knew how the story would end. In my mind, I drew gigantic story arcs, connecting dots and covering up loopholes.

Deep within, I was fighting the greatest fear I have for a filmmaker – predictability.

In his last four films, Hirani has used a fairly simple but utterly remarkable formula. A charming hero who takes on a gigantic systemic bull by the horns and brings it to its knees in the most humane manner possible. Through the journey, Hirani makes you laugh, cry, and question a few things.

And yet, in PK, even though the theme is a pet peeve of mine, I felt uneasy. An hour into the film, I recognised the villain. Hirani’s villains are not so much characters, as they are ideas that prevail in our society. After that, it was a case of how, and not what.

My biggest fear is that Hirani will turn into a Madhur Bhandarkar – who uses the same character (a vulnerable pretty girl in a bad-wolf world) in different scenarios. Or a Shankar, whose hero singlehandedly sets right cancerous illnesses in society.

There’s nothing wrong in being a Bhandarkar, or a Shankar. Only, it kills the joy of listening to a story. Of having it throw you off your feet.

It was a wonderful film, Mr. Hirani, but may be it is time to show Vidhu Vinod Chopra the finger. He has made crores and crores riding on your immense talent, and spawned off many bastard children with the golden cow you gave him.

May be it’s time, Mr. Hirani, to do a quirky crime thriller next. Or a gut-wrenching epic saga. The pothole is right in front of you, Mr. Hirani, each getting larger with every outing of yours.

Please be a Woody Allen, whose only predictability is his brilliance. Not a Madhur Bhandarkar, who, well, is a bit of an idiot.

Dhoom, Dhoomer, Dhoomest

*ing Aamir Khan, Abhishek Bachchan, Uday Chopra, Katrina Kaif, Suspinder Kaybles.

(Disclaimer: This article contains spoilers. If you haven’t watched the film yet, please continue reading, as it won’t make a rat’s ass of a difference anyway.)

For a long time, I had decided against watching Dhoom 3.

“I shall not be a part of the multitudes who contribute to this money-swallowing Godzilla of a film,” I told myself.

But for how long?

For how long can one stay away from the man? How long could I, a mere mortal, fight off the animal magnetism of Uday Chopra?

I took the plunge.

 

*

 

Dhoom 3 begins with a simple Suspension of Disbelief Test.

In the first 5 minutes of the film, we are shown Jackie Shroff – the Breathing Woman’s Sex Symbol of the 80’s. He’s shown reading out from a journal that he’s written.

Jackie Shroff. Reading Out. From a Journal that he’s written.

If you cross this Pehla Padaav of disbelief, you shouldn’t be complaining about anything else in the film.

 

*

 

One must pause here to reflect on the uniqueness of the Dhoom franchise.

Cop franchises aren’t new. Police Academy, Die Hard, Fast and Furious. They’re all franchises with efficient cops catching smart thieves, in slick movies.

What makes the Dhoom franchise unique, is the fact that it doesn’t matter if Inspector Jai Dixit catches the thief or not. For someone purported to be the Top Cop of the country, Inspector Dixit has flexible views on punishment, pardon, and perjury.

 

 

Not exactly what you’d call efficient work.

But then, it’s not any Oga, Moga, Khoga that we’re talking of here. Dhoom 3 stars the son of Amitabh Bachchan, and the son of Yash Chopra – two of the most powerful men in the industry.

And so, we set off on their adventure – another epic Cop amd Thief story, where the thief doesn’t get caught.

And who’s the thief.

Aamir Thinking Man Khan.

In the last few years, Aamir Khan’s films have always been imparting important life lessons to viewers. 3 Idiots taught us that it’s important to pursue one’s dreams, and not grades. Taare Zameen Par taught us how to deal with our children, since they’re all special. And Ghajini taught us to, err, forget everything for a second and bash people to death.

In the meantime, Aamir Khan also taught us how to respect foreigners coming into our country, and hosted Satyameva Jayate – a massive mirror to our immoral faces.

Which makes it a little difficult to accept him as a thief. Every few minutes, I was half expecting him to stop, look at the camera, wipe away a few pristine tears, and tell the country how wrong it is to steal money.

 

That’s the other thing about the Dhoom franchise. It gives actors the freedom to go batshit crazy. Aamir Khan robs banks and leaves messages in Hindi, and meets Inspector Jai Dixit in the first half hour (probably having watched Dhoom and Dhoom – 2, he had a fair idea of Jai Dixit’s efficiency).

Khan’s greatest acting achievement in this film is a near-perfect portrayal of Sanjay Dutt. He sleepwalks through some scenes, and goes Morgan Freeman Intense on others. He mouths lines that would make a five year old giggle, and does it with the confidence of an actor being paid crores for it.

Aamir Khan has a strange relationship with Nolan. With Ghajini, he broke down Memento for the Indian audiences, and in this film, he pays tribute to Nolan’s Prestige.

I suspect his next film will be a remake of Inception. A Sanjay Leela Bhansali film called Mann ke Dwaar, where blue, red, and green waterfalls spring out of the roads, and monkeys are fucking camels on the side. Like Inception, we would all be able to comprehend it.

 

 

Then there is Katrina Kaif. Who has been named Asian Goddess Who Sings and Dances Like Liquid Electricity. But yeh toh bahut lamba hai. She bats those lovely eyelids and says, Aaliya.

Given a meaty role by the writers, Katrina Kaif has more dialogues than the motorcycles used in the film, and routinely waltzes into the screen and sings and dances. Like liquid electricity.

 

 

Which then brings us to the man who drives the whole franchise –  Shōzō Kawasaki. Abhishek Bachchan.

Frowning, grimacing, gritting his teeth, pursing his lips, and reminding Ali of his rightful place by his side every few minutes, Abhishek Bachchan is the epitome of intense.

Burdened with the burden of representing the entire population of efficient Indian cops, Abhishek Bachchan delivers in stellar style. Blessed with terrific screen absence, Abhishek Bachchan towers over the film in monumental fashion.

And finally, there is the man. The reason I couldn’t resist the film.

That higher power, that zenith of histrionic abilities, Ali – Bison from Borivalli.

The makers have attempted to make the viewers look at Uday Chopra differently this time, and in the opening shot, he is upside down. He then becomes straight again, and launches into a 5 minute speech about corruption in the country.

As he speaks, you are transported to a different world. A hypnotic, magical world where nothing is real and everything is surreal. Given the responsibility of providing comic relief in a film that’s already outrageously funny, Uday Chopra delivers splendid jokes. At one point, my liver was laughing at my brain for understanding the joke.

 

*

 

Dhoom 3 was the worst film I watched in 2013. And I’ve watched a few Oriya films this year. The film shows that there are no limits for Bollywood. If those goras don’t treat our expats right, we will go to their land and fuck with the elements.

2013 witnessed the ends of spectacular careers.

One was a short, curly haired man, and when he went, people stood and cried. The other was a stocky man with pillars for biceps, and when he went, he took 300 crores from the nation.

If only for that reason, watch the film.

 

When it debuts on television.

Thoughts on ‘Satyameva Jayate’

I have never been able to figure Aamir Khan out. One of the other Khan is a money-making machine, and the other is busy being human by killing blackbucks, running over people on the streets, and getting into catfights in the industry.

But Aamir Khan has always been a puzzle. Is he really what he is cranked up to be – a sensitive star, a star with a heart and a brain? Or is it just part of a carefully created image that he painstakingly etches out for himself ? In any case, I have no problems with the films he makes.

When I heard that he has spent 7 crores on the promotion of the TV show Satyameva Jayate, I smiled. A cynical, intellectual smile that hides more than it reveals. I was waiting for the first episode so that I could rip it to shreds and put up a funny post on my blog. I am highly skeptical of people who try to change the country through mass movements.

It’s been a week now, and I can’t think of much to criticise. I watched with a cynical eye, waiting to pounce on anything that I didn’t agree with. I was expecting a sentimental, sensational, tearjerker of a show with lots of slow motion and background music.

Thankfully, I was disappointed. The show is a well-researched show that relies on more than just publicity and the existence of a star as a host to drive home the point. It is also an honest show, and does not resort to gimmickry and manipulation of emotions.

Take the first episode for example. The shot of the boys who did not have any girls to marry was an outstanding point to show the repercussions of what will happen if female foeticide continues at current rates. Dispelling the myth that it is a problem in rural India was another clincher. Over all, it was a show that relied on facts, different perspectives, and knew exactly where to draw the line.

The best part was that the solutions he provided were democratic, fully plausible solutions that could actually do something about the problem. Khan also says that all of us should personally avoid killing a girl child. My main grudge against the Anna Hazare movement was that it was led by a man who has no idea of how things work in a democracy. “Abhishek Singhvi should be hanged if found guilty”. Kyun, bhai? On what grounds?? And no one spoke about how all of us pay off a cop on the road to escape a fine. A nation is its people. If the people do not change, what are you trying to change?

The fact that the show has been dubbed into various languages and is being aired on Doordarshan is commendable. I doubt anyone has had the balls to do something like that earlier.

There will always be critics. Like this intellectual who had problems with the fact that Coke and Reliance were sponsors for the show. One has to understand that a TV programme is a commercial product at the end of the day. The maximum that Khan could do was to request the companies not to feature ads with him, as that would dilute the message of the programme. How does one really have any control over what the advertisers say?

He also says that Khan shouldn’t have called one of the victims on to the show as she was a Muslim and this would give right-wing organisations further points to diss the minorities. For a secular nation, it is ironic that we cannot discuss a single topic without bringing religion into the picture. What a shame!

Then there are those who say that Aamir Khan is paid 3 crores per episode. He should donate that amount first. This is exactly the kind of thing I’d imagine Anna Hazare saying. Are you shitting me? SRK was paid 2.5 crores for hosting a show where people slip and fall into water. Hrithik Roshan was paid 3 crores per episode for a show where people dance to choreographed songs. If he has produced the show, he has the right to take the amount he deems fit, man. What’s the huge, fucking deal? And how profitable do you think it is to air something on Doordarshan? Or dub it into regional languages??

There will always be critics, picking holes and constructing theories. And then there will be those brainless Smart Alecs who claim on Facebook that they haven’t watched the show and somehow feel proud of it. Ignore them.

The show will not change the country. It will not end problems with a magic wand. If anything, it will increase your awareness about some issues in the country.

And for me, that’s a start.