Last week, I came across a bit of news that was truly depressing.
No, it was not about India’s show in the Olympics. Neither was it about Aishwarya Rai’s weight. It was something more depressing.
Uday Chopra is apparently dating Nargis Fakri these days.
Those who have watched Rockstar would know who Nargis Fakhri is. Fans of her smoldering hot looks called her ‘Duck Face’ and those who weren’t impressed by her acting called her something that rhymes closely.
But no matter what your opinion, you cannot deny that Nargis Fakhri is undeniably hot.
Which now brings us to the topic of Uday Chopra.
It must be a great pressure to be Uday Chopra. Like Sachin Tendulkar’s son having the cricketing skills of Dodda Ganesh. Son of one of the biggest directors in the industry, family that owns one of the largest ‘camps’ and produces a slew of films every year, younger brother to Aditya Chopra, director of one of the biggest hits in the history of Hindi cinema. It must be tough.
It hasn’t been for want of trying, though.
Exactly, a decade back, Uday Chorpa stormed into our lives and on to our nerves, and quickly got under our skins. If failure is the pillar to success, Uday Chopra was on the way to building a magnificient Hampi Temple with his body of work.
Here is a walk-through of his work.
Ladies and Gentlemen, kindly leave your footwear outside and step in.
Thank you.
Mohabbatein: Directed by Aditya Chopra after the humungous success of DDLJ, Mohabbatein was set to be the next blockbuster of the decade. Boasting of a cast that included Amitabh Bachan, Shah Rukh Khan, and Aishwarya Rai, the film also had six youngsters who find love and happiness thanks to the almighty powers of their music teacher Shah Rukh Khan. Even though he doesn’t hold the violin correctly, he teaches the students enough to learn that music is about falling in love, and falling in love is what life is all about.
Mohabbatein was also the debut of a young Uday Chopra. Even though many people saw him on the poster and went “Mohabbat! Aein??”, it was to be the launch vehicle for the son of the Chopra clan.
But it didn’t take long to notice that acting was neither in his jeans, nor the T-shirt he took off at regular intervals.
The film didn’t perform as well as expected, but Uday was hopeful of a better showing with the next film.
Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai: His next release was a love triangle that went under the title ‘Mere Yaar Ki Shaadi Hai’. Inspired from the hit ‘My Best Friend’s Wedding’ – the filmmakers didn’t even bother to change the title.
Starring Uday Chopra, Jimmy Shergill and Tulip Joshi, the film had Uday playing the hero’s best friend, who until she sits on the shaadi ka mandap, doesn’t realise that her heart truly beats for her best friend and not her lover. The film sank. Tulip withered, Jimmy vanished so much into the oblivion that people still play the song “Jimmy, Jimmy. Aaja Aaja” in front of his house in the morning to taunt him. But Uday Chopra soldiered on.
Charas: His next film was ‘Charas: A Joint Effort’. Not many understood the word play in the titling there, but almost everyone understood that the film had nothing much to offer. It was the time when romantic comedies were seeing a decline in success rates, and the film, dealing with subjects like drug cartels in Manali, failed because of some lame acting by its cast. The chief villain, Irrfan Khan, however would go on to become an actor of repute in the years to come.
But Uday Chopra would strive on, carving yet another spectacular pillar on the way to his Temple.
Mujhse Dosti Karoge?: Fresh after the intergalactic success of Koi Mil Gaya, Hrithik Roshan and Kareena Kapoor got together again, even though the harrowing yaadein of their earlier film had barely been erased from our minds. Hrithik Roshan and Kareena Kapoor got together with Rani Mukherjee to star in a film about love and friendship. Uday Chopra got in through Management Quota, filling the space of the good guy who sacrifices his love so that the film can get over and people can go home.
Uday Chopra is paired with Rani Mukherjee, but alas! the fates work against him. Rumours of Aditya Chopra’s affair with Rani have begun to float, leaving brother Uday with nothing but a large heart to show. And he showed more than just a large heart in his next film.
Dhoom:
Touted to be the relaunch of the Chopra son, the Indian version of Fast and Furious turned out to be Miscast and Dubious, with Chopra playing a racer who helps a cop who never catches the culprits.
Some of the lameness of the film was shared by Abhishek Bachhan and John Abraham, and the slow-motion shots and loud background score. The highlight of the film was Uday Chopra’s pairing with Esha Deol, who looked so feminine that the two of them reminded viewers of Jai and Veeru.
The film, however, was a huge hit, and Chopra’s career got a shot in the arm.
Dhoom 2: The second installment had Uday Chopra playing the same guy, with Bipasha Basu as his partner. In a masterstroke of scripting, Abhishek Bachhan and Uday Chopra travel to Brazil to catch the most dreaded thief in the world. But upon seeing his love, Bachhan decides to forgive him. Just Like That. He comes back home empty-handed, in the process waving a huge middle finger to things like laws, work ethics, and accountability to senior officials. The film didn’t do much for Uday Chopra’s standing in the industry, though.
Uday Chopra had the customary song in the film, and nothing much apart from the usual goofing around. This film, again, was a huge hit, but saying that it was because of Chopra is like giving Sharad Pawar the credit for India’s World Cup victory.
Pyar Impossible: Paired with Priyanka Chopra, the only good thing about the film was the realistic title it had. The story of a geek who falls in love with the class chick and is heartbroken, only to come back into her life seven years later after inventing the world’s greatest Operating System which gets stolen when his enemy copies it from his Pen Drive (I’m serious).
When I first saw the trailer of Pyar Impossible, I chuckled at the sheer arrogance with which the producers went ahead to make a film from a story that was written by Uday Chopra. Before the release of the film, Karan Johar, India’s BIS Halmark on everything to do with Family and Morals, had this to say about the film,
“It has a subliminal message which is delivered without preaching to a world where people are very physically oriented.”
A team of experts translated the statement into layman terms, and it read something like this:
“I watched the film. It sucks donkey balls. Now someone please pass the Cocaine!”.
Uday Chopra’s wet dream of being a star pretty much dried up after Pyar Impossible flopped. He was no where to be seen or heard, except when people would crack a few jokes.
Teacher: “Give me an example of an Oxymoron.”
Student: “Uday Chopra…LOL”
You almost felt bad for the guy. He tried his best, trying to be a romantic hero, action hero, and comic hero. And each time, ending up as a tragic hero. In spite of all his attempts, the fact that he had all the charm of a water buffalo, worked against him.
The last I heard of him was in a news article, where he told the reporter that he was having a great time at Las Vegas. In fact, just the previous night, he had been kicked out of a bar for taking off his shirt. In response, Uday said, “I was just trying to impress a chick.” (Link).
He also announced that Dhoom 3 was to be his swan song, he would retire from acting after its release. May be concentrate on film making and return to haunt the industry after a break of a few years.
********************
Everything was fine till this story surfaced in a column in the newspaper. That Uday Chopra was dating Nargis Fakhri.
I mean, that’s simply not done, man.
Dear Uday Chopra, we as a nation have been kind and tolerant with you.
We have paid money and willingly subjected ourselves to you. We don’t mind if you continue to make films. Reboot it as Mere yaar ki teesri shaadi hai. Release Dhoom – 27. Write and act in Pyar Impossible – 4, like the other franchise with the similar name. We wouldn’t mind in the least.
But, you dating Nargis Fakhri is simply unfair. It’s a cruel reminder to us, of how ordinary our lives are, and how unfair the world is.
After all those films, is this how we are repaid?
Awesome! Cant stop laughing 😀
BTW, you seem to have followed his career so much eh?!! 😉
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ur a dumass..atop being a jealous freak
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u mean STOP!!!!!! 😉
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You also mean “u r” as in ” You are”, rather than “ur” which means “Your”
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wow you must be really smart.. 😐 kindly point out the typos in mine..
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You can stop using “..”. There is no such form of punctuation in the English grammar. Also, when a sentence starts AND after a sentence ends, you need to start with an uppercase letter. I could go on, but I hope you get the point. 🙂
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“…” is called ellipsis in English grammar. I could go on, but I hope you get the point.
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He mentioned “..” not “…”. I hope you will notice the difference
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You all in this chain are so intelligent that I need to leave planet earth: and this is known as SARCASM in English
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Its not earth. You should have a capital ‘E’. And try using a full stop next time.
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An ellipsis is used to indicate an unfinished thought or an awkward silence, neither of which were indicated in the sentence above. Looks like you got too much of the point. And as pointed out, I used “..” and certainly not “…”.
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stop being such grammar nazis!
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Okay, this was one funny string. :p
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If you need to insert a smiley after anything then you dont have to insert “.”
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If you put a full stop in quotes, it is not counted as a full stop. So, you forgot the full stop.
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This thread is as enjoyable as the article 🙂
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and you also mean ‘dumb ass’, dumbass!
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LOL…..you’re a pure entertainer! 😛
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you also meant ‘Bachchan’
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I could not even finish reading this as I had puke all over my floor that needed to be cleaned. I got a new word for u. Lame ass!
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Hi….this is rj khurafati amit from 93.5 red fm bhubaneswar…. please share your email id on amit.kumar935@gmail.com or manas@redfm.in
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Ok . So, uday Chopra has even hired people to comment for him… ha ha …
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You are Uday Chopra I guess
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haha
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ha ha ha ….. that was awesome…
and what was that– “Uday Chopra got in through Management Quota” … ROFLOL… soooo true.
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even for me.. that was the best part !!
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One of the best lines!!
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Management Quota!
It’s funny because it’s true!
Can’t stop laughing, and I’m in office!
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That’s genius! HAHAHAHAH.
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Honestly, first, I thought who the hell could possibly follow the career of someone like Uday Chopra… But when it’s with Nargis Fakhri, yes, someone should take up the case on behalf of the whole ‘MAN’kind. :))
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too good.. who ever wrote this should go to CNN-IBN or a better place! cool man , u r too good!
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Thanks! But I doubt Mr. Sardesai and Ms. Ghose would accept it.
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You should totally hit Arnab with this. Maybe he’ll have Uday Chopra on Newshour and scream the hell out of him. Mr CHOPRATHE NATION WANTS TO KNOW!!!! hahahahaha ROFL
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OMG! I was trying hard to control my laughter after reading the article… But this comment started another bout! ROFL!
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LOL!!!!!! that was a good one!
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ROFl .. simply amazing ..
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Hahahaha I can’t stop laughing. and so true. Management quota wooohooo!
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From side hero to side of side hero… LMAO… too good….
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Reading this, I realised Dhoom series have the worst poster ever made in Bollywood after 2000. Hilarious post, indeed.
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hahaha! “Uday Chopra got in through management quota!” 😀
You missed Neal n Nikki in which Uday was paired with Kajol’s cousin 😛
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Ya Rite…hehe
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Mr. HeartRanjan, this is one gem of a post.
Please focus your next article on Tushaar Kapoor, another super hero of film industry 🙂
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You mean “Aa aa ae ae o o”? LOL
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Well written and really funny!
Uday Chopra simply doesn’t have it in him. He’s got as many tries as Tusshar Kapoor. Well…perhaps not that many.
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Very well written. ………good sense of humour.
I cant stop laughing ………magnificent hampi temple……… LOLs….
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Awesome blog.. But u forgot “neal n nikki”. How could you
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Dude… awesome stuff… But how could you forget the ultimate torture “Neil n Nikki” !! 😦 The movie just takes the cake … and slams it on your face….
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Eggzhactly, I was also missing Neal n NIKKKIIIII.
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Just realised I have seen all these films and u forgot the ridiculous neal n nikki.
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Dude, any thoughts on Neal n Nikki!! That film was the shit!!
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Add some lines about the shit movie “Neal n Nikki”, where he was shirtless in almost all the scenes, while Tanisha (Kajol’s cousin) was in bra and shorts. This was the USP of the movie. I would like to read something hilarious about the movie too.
By the way, Tanisha could be a perfect partner for this guy Uday Chopra. She also comes from a family having Shomu Mujherjee, Tanuja, Nutan and Kajol as relatives. But all she knew was kissing and showing cleavage. Raam milai jodi..
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Love Jackie’s review in the header 😀
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tru dat!
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LOL bey!
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LMAO !!! That was awesome shit 😛
would love to read about Tusshar and Arshad Warsi 😀
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Dude, Arshad Warsi is a SERIOUSLY talented actor, putting him in the same club at Uday Chopra and Tusshar Kapoor is serious insult!!!!
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Are you SERIOUS !!!
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yup Arshad warsi is a an awesome actor.. pls no mean cmmnts on him!!
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Arshad Warsi is in better league than these guys.. Arshad has struggled a lot . read his wiki page…
for a starter… he was orphaned at 14 and worked as a sales man.
and his movies ishqiya, sehar are good ones….
anyways… just a thought
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Naah, Arshad is an ‘actor-actor.’ Mentioning him and Tusshar in the same line is like mentioning Nehra and Imran Khan.
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Whats up Johnny Dorky Cena..ur wife divorced you and now u were seen in the company of 13 year old girl??
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Personally, I would like to rate Arshad higher than many existing stars as an actor.
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How could you forget about Neil and Nikki !!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
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Hilarious!
And I can only imagine how serious you are about the Nargis part! 😛
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How can you not mention Neal n’ Nikki! This is blasphemy!
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haha.. great narration buddy.. cheers
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awesome man.. laughe da lot.. keep up the good work..
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Man you wasted my 1 full day at office…
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Dude, u forgot about his film – Neel&Nikki.. He got so fucking lucky with that movie. Even the not-so-famous second daughter of Tanuja & little sister of Kajol- Tanisha, looks so hot in that movie. And he got lucky with that one. This proves Uday dating Nargis.. Paisa bolta hia.
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Aapne to bas likh k le li Mngmnt Quota Overdose Guru UdayJi ki to…..;) :p
Excellent…..!!!
Do inform when u write on Tushaar..;)
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Amazing…couldn’t stop laughing…but what to do brother…money matters…it fucking matters…
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hheeeheehehehehehe !!! khol khol k le li bhaai 😀 nargis fuck-riiii 😛
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How about me calling your sister or mother a Fuck-Face
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I simply Loved it!!
Uday Chopra can get famous, because of this Article.
😀
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Looks like you don’t follow Uday Chopra’s movies as much. Just now Aditya Chopra was whispering in my ears, “Thank god the blog spared Neal Nikki. This movie was just made to cheer up UC with chicks around.” It did no wonder to his or Nisha/Nikita’s career (don’t rem her name but she is Kajol’s cousin). Try some hands-on on Neal and Nikki too
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You forgot Supari!
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Kismat apni apni……..tere baap kaa kya jata hai?
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Saw this link shared on Facebook by a friend and had me curious too. This is almost Uday Chopra’s biography 😛
On your blog first time, enjoying. Loving the sarcasm, the pun, and everything else 😀
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That was simply hilarious!
But the big unanswered question is, how the duck-face did he get fakhri?
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Simply Awesome!!
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smoldering hot looks called her ‘Duck Face’ and those who weren’t impressed by her acting called her something that rhymes closely. Made my day in ofice. Keep ’em coming!!!
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Now if the duck face tries his directing skills , i am sure they would as pathetic as his superb acting skills ..
Nargis- Are u so much deprived of normal guys that you will opt for UC
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Leaving out the legendary neal n nikki is a blunder one can’t forgive you for. The movie deserves a separate blog post all together. Its legit!
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Simply hilarious….. how did you manage to leave out neil and nikki… and you do see a lot of similarities of his with Tushar Kapoor…especially the Management Quota through siblings 🙂 awesome read!
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Mujhse Dosti Karoge released a year before Koi Mil Gaya. Kindly check the details.
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where the hell is Neal n Nikki
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Awesome writing dude … seriously … Some freakin Awesome writing
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I cant stop laughing!!!!!!! You need to write more! Love the style and, YES! I most certainly agree with your analysis.
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is there any javascript to LIKE this blog a million times 😀
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Awesome..dude..u kicked the chopra boy rt outta the park..
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How did you forget “Neal and NIkki”??? One of the strongest pillars of Uday Chopra’s “hall of fame”!
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Most hilarious post!!!!!!!!!!!!Wahh!!!!!!
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Great stuff!
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hehehe… Singing Jimmy jimmy jimmy.. aaja aaja aaja.. Can’t stop laughing man! Incredible stuff.. 🙂
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Hey, no word on Tanisha? Tanish-Aah!
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Gud!
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This would shock you even more: He is currently in Los Angeles learning film making at UCLA! so BEWARE…he would be back soon 😉
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ammm ….. is there a course on film-watching too? … for us? 😐
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hahaha lmfao…cant stop…
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WHy is nobody talking about Abhishek Bacchan!!!!!!
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Dude,
that was awesome….keep them coming.. and yes, the world ain’t fair
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amazing article…hilarious… couldn’t stop laughing my ass out….hats off!!!
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Can’t do justice to this article without Neal ( blue eyed boy, literally) and nikki! Both of them were so equally dumb that you go numb by the time the movie ends!
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Highlarious ….. xD xD …. “Duck-face” … 😀 … “Uday Chopra got in through management quota!” … Hahahahaha :’D
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u missed the atrocity called neil n nikki #outrage
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I see a lot of readers have kindly pointed out the lack of Neil n Nikki in this post. Thank you all. For a moment I thought memories of that film were a figment of my imagination. Thank you God, I’m not crazy yet.
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HAD A GOOD LAUGH AFTER A LONG TIME!
AMAZINGLY WELL WRITTEN PIECE.
*BOW*
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donkey balls!!!!! roflmao…too gud….
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Hahahahaha :)….Actually NArgis Fakri has become parcel in the passing the parcel game of Industry, sab thok peet ke baja ke pass kar rahe hai….
I respect Uday Chopra for the fact that he started doing some work (rather destructive) in lieu of his pocket money Papa gave him…
It works well in this Industry na, people like Uday Chopra have all the fun, if they had been not Yash chopra’s son he would have been a Majdoor lifting bricks in Sharad Pawar’s illicit real estate project
I think Fakri will move on to another bozo in few days, like a Tussar Kapoor, or a Shreyas Talpade…
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I guess Shreyas is a much better actor than Uday and Tussar… also as far as I know he doesn’t have any connections in bollywood as these two and he made his mark on his own.
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I will write one on Tushar Kapoor now, so awesome it will be 🙂
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Its a rollercoaster dude! This chick with expressions of a duck is definitely smarter than one. Dating this dumbo is the only way she can sustain in the industry. Thats what Katrina did when she was a rookie. She dated Salman until people got used to her pathetic acting skills and accepted her as just a pretty face. Well, at least she had great looks. This gal looks like she has been on chemo for the past 10 years. Oh maybe she will get married to Uday and then become eligible for the Management Quota too… I told you she is one smart duck!
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How can u forget “Neal and Nickey”
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Sheer insanity post! Love the way u talk to the reader like a third person.
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LOL LOL LOL
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Haha, I remember what-the-eff-ing the exact same way when Aftab Shivdasani managed to pataao Yana Gupta. I mean, YANA brilliant-smile-lovely-skin-hotass-bod GUPTA!!
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Am dying laughing here and pay respect to your endless dedication to following up on Uday Chopra’s career. I see a deadly biography which u can sell to Uday Chopra which he can develop into his directorial debut, rightly titled as the Curious case of Uday Chopra.
Cheers Man!
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Some one please email tweet fb this article to Uday Chopra!! 😀
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You missed Neil and Nikki! The most outrageous of them all!
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He has also acted in a movie “Supari’ but as usual bombed at the box office.. but good writing buddy..
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You missed Neel and Nikki! If the ones mentioned were pillars, this flick is the shrine in the temple! Nonetheless a great piece!
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Hilarious… awesome…
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Reblogged this on Siddharth's space and commented:
ROFLMAO
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U missed out the utterly delicious Neel and Nikki!!! I paid for the movie and realized that others in the theatre got free entry…
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If the poor moron like Abhishek Bachchan can get Aishwarya Rai… Mr Chopra deserves his share 😛 ….This is an unfair world and most of us are on the wrong side of it… even an IIT degree could not get me closer to Abhishek’s or Uday’s luck ( something that we were fed on since childhood, IIT mein padh lo sab mil jayega )… **it happens
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Bhai mere WTF!!! you forgot Neil and Nikki the greatest film like ever
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i totally agree with u. pls keep writing
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Could not stop laughing… keep writing
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Brilliant
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he is all set to marry her as well.. depressing !!!
indiatoday.intoday.in/story/uday-chopra-nargis-fakhri-to-get-married-in-march-2013/1/240618.html
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where’s Neal and Nikki! The highlight…epitome…the be all do all of his career! 😐
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Ufff, that film!
It has become the albatross around my neck!! The film is so shitty that even if I write about it, there will be nothing left after a para!!
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Hey…..can’t stop laughing……. management quota….ahahaha….damn good 1….
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you forgot Neil and Nikki !!!!
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hey you forgot the absolutely forgetful..Neel n NIkki!!
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“Wow, incredible blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is wonderful, let alone the content!. Thanks For Your article about Quen Somos ? | grupo de consumo responsable .”
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“Greetings! Very useful advice within this post! It’s the little changes that produce the greatest changes. Thanks a lot for sharing!”
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Hahaaaa. for the first time Uday was entertaining in this article. I literally can’t stop laughing.
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you have missed out on neal and nikki.. eagerly waiting for that .. and his ex girlfrnd ..tanisha 🙂
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Can u share your achievements other than making fun of others honest effort.
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Why the fuck you need his achievements.This blog is his achievement.
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Attention Everyone! We have found the rare Uday Chopra fan. *bow*
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Uday Chopra’s “HONEST EFFORTS” !!
lol
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The conclusion was hilarious!
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That was the best thing I ever read… kudos, kill the bastard chopra.
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Don’t kill him, torture him the same way he has done to us!
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Management quota……. Too gooood!!!!!
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You did a good job criticizing Uday Chopra’s career…. But, the last paragraph spoiled it!! I mean, c’mon you seriously think that, you, with your ordinary life or not, had any chance with Ms. Fakri, or as people fondly like to call her *uck Face!! 😛
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hahahahahaahahahahahahahhhaahah.. insane bro.. Management quota.. hahahahahhhaahaha.
Although you missed neil n nikki.. now u have made uday a celebrity 😛
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“Fans of her smoldering hot looks called her ‘Duck Face’ and those who weren’t impressed by her acting called her something that rhymes closely.”
*APPLAUSE*
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OMG! Amazing! Loved the “Mohabbat!Aein??” part…it really cracked me up! 🙂 You are an awesome writer. 🙂
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Wow… I can’t begin to describe how much I enjoyed reading this…It was funny, well written and the sarcasm was too good… 🙂 😀
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Awesome….am still in splits. Hope Uday Chopra or Nargis read this! The way you’ve outlined this dude’s (oops!!) career is superb! To be honest, I don’t even remember any of his movies, expect Dhoom. Excellent post!
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seriously… “U don’t even remember any of his movies, expect Dhoom”……… how rude to insult such a grt actor……
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uday chopra has fucked jaya bacchan. it’s a true bollywood underground rumour. trust in him
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cant stop laughing… superb
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Dude…. u really possess a gift…. I started reading this blog of yours at around 2 am and liked it so much that I read through several of your others blogs too…. Just amazing….! I did not sleep the whole night n kept reading them….!!
Awesome….! Keep them coming 🙂
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Thanks, man! Feels like an achievement if I can keep someone up all night without being Sunny Leone!!
Keep reading. And commenting. Have a good day at work (though in reality you may be screwed for dozing off!)
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I was aware of the whole night part thats y I added ” n kept reading them” 😉 😛
But, great work man….!! I just wish I can write even half as well as you do….!
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neil and titty was the writing on the walls as both their bosoms dint manage to pull in an audience , it was as if they were trying a formula (- x – = +). fuck man…it really is unfair!
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Heartranjan sounded a lot like Aheartranjan here. Are you ok dude?
You’re either short of ideas for your weekly blog post quota or going through that bad phase right now..you know…the sort of I-hate-you-I hate-you-I-hate-you. Otherwise why would you end the post with cursing the Management Quota for cuddling someone you term as “DFuck Face”?
And please! though Chopra’s filmography is atrocious…the way you have mentioned some movies…you’re giving Chopra a run for his own money!! Sometimes…just sometimes…get laid man! 😛
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So how much man protein did you have to “suck” out before commenting that pretty much took a lifetime of your IQ! Get laid??Seriously!! Any high school grader is far more literally sound than you “AChopra’s BF”..cracks me upl!
Ohh wait..cracks gives you a hardon…llol!
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Yo DesiBabaTroll! It did took a toll on my IQ to comment on this brainless piece. Imagine I had to go through it! (while “sucking on”)….So what brings you to our fella’s defence? HeartRanjan’s Boyfriend may be? ROFL!
And oh yes! you bet! cracks give me hardon…particularly the Duck Face kinds..
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dude you took a risk by writing such a long article on someone , people dont even want to read even a word on..hats off and you made it get all the attention too .. truely amazing !
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extremely hillarious , but i guess u forgot to mention about his another awesome movie supari 🙂
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You missed Neal n Nikki. I watched it first day first show at PVT Saket, Delhi. Once I am out, the TV channels are after all of us to gove comments. I was too embaraased that my friedns can catch me… Ran away, hiding my face.
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That just cracked me up ….
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What a funny write up …. 🙂
Uday Chopra is like the bottle of conditioner that everyone sees next to the shampoo, but don’t know why its there…
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Amaaazing write up! funny as hell… 😀
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Funtastic!
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I really enjoyed the write up but totally missed the mention of the movie ‘Neal N Nikki’ cuz that has been so far the classic flop of his entire career!
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Dude!!! o my god!!
if i see you i’ll worship you, that was some great shit!!
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If anyone deserves to make to it to the Comedy Central’s ROAST!Uday Chopra it has to be!..may that make him realize his “feats”..wait…if any!
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Side-splitting!!
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Dude whoever wrote this is like a genius! We are all with you man! Honestly, its sad finding out that nargis is either blind or retarded! 😉 😛
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come on man….she is not blind or retarded….. just…. thoda sa rassta bhatak gayi hai (just lost her way little bit)….. give her benefit of doubt….. she must have mistaken him as aditya chopra…… lol
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“Exactly, a decade back, Uday Chorpa stormed into our lives and on to our nerves, and quickly got under our skins.”
LOL… Hats off to you Mr. Blogger.
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So damn good couldn’t stop laughing
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guys….although I got to know abt this blog today only… but… aai shapath….. the day I had read this news in newspapers…… I was in deep shock and frustrated……. I even asked my GF ” why you? why not her?” ……A real incident…..m nt making it…. I remember….. 6-7 days…I was traumatized….. just bcoz of this Uday-Fakhri news……. but now…feeling relaxed after this blog…. relaxed bcoz it was nt only me…. seems u were also in the same list as me…. wat says heartranjan….. nice job bro
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u missed neal and nikki!!!!
I wanted someone to take the case of that one!
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Neil and Niki is forgotten!! wannabe ‘i’m the neal, i’m the man, rock star-super star’!!!
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YOU ARE THE BIGGEST FAN OF UDAY CHOPRA NO DOUBT ABT IT …
hats- Off to you !!!
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PLs do Vivek oberoi and tushar kapoor
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You missed Neil and Nikki.
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Hriday, that “mohabbat, aaienn??” line was EPIC!! LOL 😀
Actually, it’s LMAO+ROFL….
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whatever , i like this guy as an actor
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better than the author anyway 🙂
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I wouldn’t normally complain about being compared to Uday Chopra. But just out of curiosity, ‘better’ how??
On 18 June 2013 13:22, Heartranjan's Blog
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LOL , hats off u guy behind this blog :p
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🙂 good one
wat abt NEEL n NIKI
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Hats off to the writer!! I hav njoid this article more than all of uday chopras movies put 2gether!! Brilliant writing and may I request, if u haven’t done it till now, please make sure the chopra prince reads it!! It wud b a small way for viewers to get back at him after what he’s done to us with his movies! !
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How can you miss NEEL n NIKKI the lesbian love story ; come on
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Verryyyyyyyy Verrryyyyyyyyy funnyyyyyyyyy………………
Side Hero… n Side Hero of the Side Hero!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HATS OFF to Writer
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This is one serious blog. Enjoyed every bit!
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Please write blog on Sunil Shetty, though he has few hits in his pocket. And while watching Dhoom, I used to wonder whether UC and AB2 were acting funny or act was becoming fun because of them LOL
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That was one mean blog (I should not be laughing as I write this) 😀
But I think Uday Chopra is an inspiration (:P) and a hope to every “loser” coz even if you go from “side-hero to side of the hero” you might still end up with the “Rockstar’s heroine”.
Your blog was well-put and funny,but personally I think Uday Chopra is just as good as any average Joe in the industry but has the same luck as them despite his backing and genealogy.
Good going Uday!:)
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Some facts were wrong… but who cares.. But to bring it to your notice since this one one of the most hilarious write-ups I’ve read while browsing at work 😛
Koi mil gaya – Hrithik and Priety (Not Kareena)
Mere yaar ki shaadi hai – Heroine’s best friend (Not hero’s)
Missed Neal n Nikki, I wanted somebody to rip off my face and wipe Kajol’s sister ass with it.
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you got me at Fakhri !
the rest is about how some loser is enjoying the name and has the last laugh…….but what the hell he will still be ugly while we will always have a sense of humour 🙂
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Why don’t u see actors as a human being….it doesnt matter if Uday is a terrible actor but he is a very good human being…good to talk to….easy going….and a genuinely nice person. And about Nargis…her acting skills sucks in Rockstar and even in few ads tht she is currently doing. But being so judgy about she dating him is lame…. Atleast he is famous enuf for u to write a blog about him….n maybe nargis is a gold digger…. So mind ur own work n stop criticizing actors as no one has the rite to interfere in their personal matters.
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Ah! Here comes Mother Teresa to sort out the world’s problems.
Look, I’m not a moron. I understand that he is a good person and have written on quite a few occasions that from whatever I have seen of him on Twitter, I found him to be quite a grounded person.
But that’s not the point. The point is that it is a humour article. It is not a personal attack. You should keep your ‘Holier Than Thou’ attitude at your home and learn to take humour for what it is. Even though Eddie Murphy took potshots at Stevie Wonder about his blindness, they were still the best of friends off stage.
Also, if you scrape the surface, more than a personal vendetta, it is a remark on how cruel the industry is. The fact that good for nothing sons get years and years of films to get successful, and yet honest, hardworking people have to live in poverty.
Thanks for the comment, anyway. But you need to take humour for what it is.
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You are awesome heartranjan, whoever you may be!
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Really awesome…Love your blog! 🙂
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you missed niel & nikki here.
Superflop milestone
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ROFL
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you forgot Neal and Nikki!! Oh Good lord… how could u!!
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This is nasty.
I don’t understand how ppl could find this funny. Maligning someone’s profession is diff but trying to pick on their personal life and choices they make is surely lowlife.
This is bullying of the worst kind and I’ve never read such atrocious things about an individual where he’s not done anything wrong except trying to do some work and failing miserably.
Accepted he cannot act, comes from a family with reputation and money where 99.9% of u bogans will lend your fkn asses just to walk the corridors of his studios.
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This blog is to showcase the humorous and cynical side of the author. Just because he’s writing what we’d generally say about the person in question, doesn’t make either of them a lowlife or a miserable failure. This is one of the funniest blogs I have read in a long time. Appreciate it for that. You might check twice on giving out your opinions before you watch and enjoy movies or comedy shows which blatantly make caricatures of better known celebrities than Uday Chopra.
Your comments are definitely quite assorted. You could try being more sorted. Chill.
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You dont get it do you???.
I appreciate comedy and surely think you are the Rohit Shetty and Salman Khan humor type. Mocking actors mannerism and acting style is different but saying stuff about his personal life and love life cmon. Who are u married to….????..
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Right! You are right.
I have nothing else to say.
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Aren’t you ‘holier than thou’!! It takes a certain intellect to enjoy written humor. Unfortunately if my comment makes you think I am the one who enjoys crass humor, then I can only implore you to sort yourself out.
If journalists write about it, actors themselves tweet about it, and we would talk about it why are you getting so judgmental if someone has written about it in a funny way?
Like I said. Chill.
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Awww, man! Do these guys get paid for doing these? Dont you get a joke?
I paid for those tickets with my hard earned money. I have every right to talk about it. For every film this guy makes, there are a fifty deserving guys losing an opportunity.
And finally, stop making films like some holy trade. If you bought a phone, and it sucked,wouldn’t you crib? Same case here.
And no, I wouldn’t give my right arm just to walk in his corridors. Contrary to what you think, there are people who don’t give a shit, you know?
You can go ahead and be a sycophant. Must be great fun, I’m sure.
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You paid to watch his movie after knowing how bad an actor he was well that explains your intelligence.
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Yeah, man. Like I said, you are right.
You are the epicentre of truth. The eight planets are chakras in your kundalini. The sun shines out of your ass. Thy will be done.
Now, this has been a painful discussion because you have begun by assuming I am a lowlife. Now, there isn’t much father I can take it, so let’s end it here, shall we?
You didn’t like the article, close the tab, continue with your work. Move on, man. It’s ok.
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I feel sorry for you for the sheer number of dimwits you have to deal with on this blog.
Anyways, loved the article. Don’t stop being awesome !
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The sun shines out of your ass,,,,,You crack me up!!! Heartranjan you made my day 😀
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The sun shines out of your ass,,,,,You crack me up!!! Heartranjan you made my day 😀
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I think I enjoyed as I would normally enjoyed a good funny joke and I think people should keep it at that. Its not easy to make people laugh with your writing. If you manage doing that you are doing really good… keep it coming Ranjan
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I think u missed a point !
After all these directors, now NARGIS FAKHRY was being KIND TO HIM!!
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😀 Superb… (Y)
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Uday Chopra ..in “HeartRanjan shtyle” ….. Hilarious and so very true ….
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Give Uday Chopra a cookie. He’d love some cookies.
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normally i dont read blogs.. but this one had been glued all the way till the end.. well written..
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Not done man!! How can you forget Neal n Nicki!!!!!!
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side hero to side of the side hero…!lol
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Man! I am reeling in stomach pain and laughter.
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Man this is so hilarious and somehow the reality. I love reading each and every bit of it. the kind of observation yu have is amazing. Yu have a long way to go… 😉
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Kept me hooked till the end. Nice post. Gonna check the rest of your posts. Keep ’em coming!
Cheerz!
DN
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Super! Just became your fan
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Excellent ! I was in splits.. I wonder if we could take our footwear in though so we could either slap ourselves or UC with it for having endured all this rubbish! Also I think ‘Dilbara’ should get a special mention ! Enjoyed reading this.
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C’mon People …. At least he tried… unlike Siddharth Mallaya x_x
😛
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inventing the world’s greatest Operating System which gets stolen when his enemy copies it from his Pen Drive . OMG!!! ROFL!!!!
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Nvr thot tht I wud read a post bout Uday Chopra.. nd still feel like reading more of it with every line.. Wonderfully written, sprinkled with ample doses of humour.. Made my day.. or night rather :):)
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Why does he need a bash after all ???? Its like cornering a person and beating him up …
Article is good and easy for laughing out ..but at the cost of humiliation
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And I have paid money to watch all the films. Surely I’m entitled to an opinion??
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Same here … that was just my opinion…
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And, you are a superb writer …. so dont be upset on this comment of mine
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u forgot Neal and Nikki man 😀 could have cracked a few more jokes there 😀 😀
hilarious 😀 good job
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too good. had a great laugh.
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Dear Author,
U are AWESOME. Hire me, teach me HOW u could keep me glued to read about an actor for 5 minutes tolerating whom for a jiffy makes me wish for dinosaurs to return to swallow him.
Respect for you. Blog followed. Hasta la vista!
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Hey you missed out Neil and Nikki 😛 😛
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Very soon Uday Chopra coming to a theater near you, Heartranjan, with vengeance!! D(h)oom3!
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Heartranjan, this is the first blog I’ve read that has blown my brains out with sarcasm & humour. Exceptionally written and I’ve passed it on around the newsroom. Do continue penning such witty articles that help destress us “labourers” after a painful day of work (which didn’t exactly consist of work).
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This is super ! 🙂 Loved the post 🙂
He also did the best forgotten Neal n Nikki 😛
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Ha ha ha …. loved it 😛
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ooooooooooosm man !! that ” management quota ” was unbelievable … cant stop laughing … keep on penning dude
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Hilarious yet true. You missed Neel N Nikki. Where he had blue eyes and it seemed throughout the film he had a cleavage flaunting competition with his co-star/then girl friend Tanisha.
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Neal and Nikki was another crazy film by Uday Chopra. It must get special mention since in was the only movie I’ve seen in years where the actress and actor were trying to outdo each other in terms of body exposure.
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Above everything, what matters is that the worlds greatest dictator named his son after him…. I so want to see Neil reunite with nikki in Big boss. Along with Armaan Kohli they form the Trinity of indian cinema…. Discount Fakhri’s good looks, she managed to equal Uday’s achievements in Rockstar. And Flopness is contagious. Uday sir managed to pull down mr and mrs bachhan first, then bipasha basu and last was fakhri. He is a serial killer. Next will be Amir khan
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Hey I liked that guy.He was like a disclaimer statement in all the movies he acted in, that look I am going to do a part in this movie now you watch it at your own risk. Saved me from indulging in wasteful expenditure!
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Hey You forgot the best of all….Neel & Nicky..!!
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Reading thru the Neil & Nikki comments I was wondering when will u write abt the Curious case of Tannisha….Uday’s partner in crime in Neil & Nikki!! LOL
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i love your sarcasm man !!..especially jai & veeru jodi of esha and Uday..!!..hahahahahah..brilliant !
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This is awesome. Can’t agree more! Hillarious.
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Must say that Uday Chopra’s career is an unforgettable one, he has been consistent with his acting throughout, sorry did I just tell that he is an actor ..my apologies….
About he dating Nargis Fakhri it defines Langur ke Haath mein Angoor … if you know what i mean…
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Abey saale, jitna research tune uday chopra ke uppar kiya hai, utna apne gaand ke uppar karta toh aaj proctologist ban jata. Get a life!
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That is very unfair of you to remember Charas and forget Neil and Nicki. 😛
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Do you people seriously not get what this article here is all about. Its got nothing to do with what a piece of shit Uday Chopra is. Its a lamentation on how unfair the world is. I mean, after all, “Nargis Fakhri is not hot, she is the Sun.”
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ROFL. One bright spot in my day. You , sir, have said so eloquently what everyone was thinking!
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Supari and Neal ‘n’ Nikki missing
writer of this post must edit this article and add those 2 missing films.
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You forgot to write about “Neal ‘n’ Nikki”. Probably, you can do similar write-up for Tanisha … or Tanishaaaa .. or Taanisha ….whatever her name is…
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Take a bow for this brilliant article. Can’t explain how much I have loved it.
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Reblogged this on booksucker.
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Awesome 😀
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This article is uncalled for. Uday may not have had a successful acting career but that doesnt stop him from being a good lover. Acting is just one of the skills. Many not so good actors have been successful in other fields. Besides who said that only those who have had a successful career can approach hot girls. Its losers like you who have no work who throw around advice on whom to date or not
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No, you moron!
It’s called satire. It is not meant to be taken seriously, you buffoon.
Go back to your Maths text book. Those are the things you should be taking seriously.
Why bother about things that offend you SO MUCH??
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Your writing is BRILLIANT; with the right dose of original humor and word play! Wish you good luck with your book. I hope it comes out soon. Keep writing!
Wishes from a writer in the making 🙂
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I cant believe you just wasted an entire blog on Uday Chopra. He sure was worth YOUR time. 😉
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Laughing so hard that tears are rolling down my eyes….
Too good yaar! Brilliantly written and nothing like anything I ever read….. !!!
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epic man!! thumbs up!
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good round-up of the uday chopra’s filmy career… however recently I met an animation-gaming company magnate and came to know that he is very good at business.. he handles entire US distribution for YRF and arguably more business wise than brother…
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Ok, so there are people who care for Uday Chopra
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How could someone miss out on the epic, “Neal and Nikki”? This 124 minutes of pure torture actually confused me whether this is a comeback movie of Uday Chopra or he was planning to go on to advertising as the brand ambassador for Fair & Lovely.
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yes man! that had two lame-asses through various management quota..
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Great post. Cant stop laughing 😀
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wasn’t there another one of his ridiculous films called ‘neal and nikki’?
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if you think pyar impossible was torturous, neal and nikki sets a new standard for that word
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uday chopra….. is another chop chop ra….. acting with his fat ass….. never ever watched any of his movies, never intend to watch either….. m sure his acting is as bad as his looks are-.
the kundilini and sun out of your ass….. made me laugh for long…..
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Reblogged this on Un-μ-Ted and commented:
Funny and very very fanatic….
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uday rocks nargis’ rolls India dies…..America cries
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Bacche ke jaan lega kya?? us ko ek cheez to mila hai life main–leave him in peace!
BTW– We were equally frustrated when we heard the news for the 1st time!
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Jimmy vanished into oblivion…..!!!!! bullet raja, sahab biwi 1,2 , wednesday, special 26…… he is one of most underrated actor of bollywood….
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true to that
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Fakri needs a rich production house to support her, no matter how these poster girls talk about things that are more deep and meaningful in life, in the end it all boils down to one fact-“Zarurat me gadha bhi baap”.
The article is well written. But since have not watched “Mere yaar ki shaadi hai”, I did not quite follow the brief synopsis you have put. The references to the best friend here are a bit confusing.
“…Uday playing the hero’s best friend, who until she sits on the shaadi ka mandap, doesn’t realise that her heart truly beats for her best friend and not her lover.”
“Hero” and then “she”. Was it a gay/transgender movie? Or may be you are just referring to the hero as a B**ch.
Anyway, a thoroughly entertaining article. You posses a great wit! Keep it up!
Haters, please excuse any typos or grammatical mistakes.
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You are awesome…Believe me…I am going mad laughing..I am at work and My boss is staring at me for chuckles…:-)
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Everytime I read a news about Uday Chopra, I remember this article. I have read this so many times, and yet cannot get enough. LOL. And today I saw this news…
http://www.newstrackindia.com/newsdetails/2013/12/06/210–Uday-Chopra-may-direct-Hollywood-film-.html
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brilliant piece… but i was still waiting for Neal and Nikki??? 😛
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This was a pretty good article. Goes to show how influence and power can play a major role in not only making it in any industry (he lasted for few years before he retired) and then even scoring with a girl. A sane person would realize its not him who bagged her but it was she who would have approached him (you know if UC can make entries and get films (merit-less-ly) in the industry she could too. He probably had the magic charm or end being a daughter in law of the rich and famous. She aint that hot anyway. Similar character is Ritesh Deshmukh who got in to films through films and continues so (probably a little more successful than UC) but what’s sad is he was an architect. If he had to join films why did he cost an aspiring architectural student a seat!. But nevertheless a hilarious article. Please expose other such characters too!
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You are awesome
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Reblogged this on itsinkd and commented:
awwsome!!!
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awesomeee!!!
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You actually think Fakhri is hot? You are making her sound like the most beautiful woman on this planet! 😀
She is gold digger who looks average, while he is an idiot who has lured her to marry him by promising she never has to lift a finger again in her life. In short if Uday is the opposite of Aditya, Nargis is the opposite of Rani.
Other than your inexplicable infatuation with Fakhri, it’s a very well written piece.
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She is hot but not really the sun (as the poster claims)! There are definitely hotter women around. But I think the point of this post is to bring out who Uday Chopra really is. And after that is brought out in a fine manner, the post brings out the disappointment at his pairing with Fakhri !
Of course she is a gold digger. But I see more instances of Uday Chopra being bashed around in this post rather than the “inexplicable infatuation with Fakhri” being hinted at time and again.
There is only one instance where the author mentions the hotness of Fakhri I believe.
In short, the author seems to have a very explicable disgust with Uday Chopra (I share that feeling of disgust with him though) rather than an inexplicable infatuation with Fakhri.
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Dear blogger,
I never had so much laugh reading an article. This is a masterpiece. It’s almost like you represent the common public’s opinion and write it in a comic way. Could connect to almost all the lines you wrote and could not stop laughing. After this, reading all your previous articles. Great work. Keep writing 🙂
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Shut up. I like Uday 😛
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