She’s a Feminist. Then why doesn’t she pay the bill?

When I date someone for the first time, two things inevitably happen.

1. The food is served, and then the bill is called for. The waiter who knows nothing about Feminism or Chauvinism, will come and give the bill to me. If I am dressed shabbily, he will give it to the girl. And precisely at that moment, I decide whether I will date the person again.

2. I am always called an asshole after that first date.

This is something that has always bugged me no end. I see these girls who bash men at the drop of a hat, talking of male hegemony, male gaze, gender inequality, and other bra-burning feminist ideas, and when the bill appears, there is a magical transformation. The fiery tiger becomes a whimpering, simpering, eyelashes batting, cute little cat.

And I would rather be called an asshole than date that person again.

Of all the characteristics one is supposed to have in a relationship, I find chivalry the most stupid.

Why do I need to open the door for a girl to show her that I care for her? Why do I need to pay her bill to prove that I care?

I mean, I do understand there is a way to behave around a lady. I am not going to chew paan and spit near her feet. But do I have to go all the way to open the door for her?

Out of curiosity, I looked up the word chivalry, and this is what I found.

The word has its origins to the era before the 15^th century, where men were supposed to protect the weak and the defenceless. So when someone talks about chivalry in the 21^st century, I feel like banging their head into a plate of hot sambar vada and making them pay the bill for it.

Of course, one would argue that the literal meaning of the word would have changed over the ages. It has, but only subtly. If you expect chivalry from men, why blame the men who expect women to only cook?

And what is most shocking is that most of these are educated, well-read women. Women who know the meaning of terms like male-gaze, and male hegemony.

A few months back, we had gone to a club. Again, two of the girls in the group were 21^st century bullshitters. When it was time to pay the entry fee, they turned away. When it was time for the bill, they ran away. As simple as that. Isn’t this merely taking advantage of the fact that most men would  consider it infradig to ask a woman to repay an amount? How different are you, then, from the dowry-accepting, wife-beating asshole on the street?

Luckily for me, I have always been with women who are fiercely independent. To the extent that I have lived off them during my jobless, hopeless, and penniless days. Which is why I still have respect for them, even if I am not with them today.

I find it amusing when guys bitch about how much money they spend on their girlfriends. If you are dating a person without any self-respect, you shouldn’t be complaining about it in the first place. It is as much your fault as hers.

And girls, if you really want our respect, and really want to be treated as equal, how about splitting the bill the next time you eat out?

 

 

EDIT: 

I got a lot of shit for this post, and while I could have simply edited the offensive bits, that would have been the easy way out.

For all those who got offended by it, I am sorry. Forgive me for not being able to convey my point accurately. Also, I went overboard with the comparison with rapists, so please pardon that too. My point, however, was that the rapist and the chauvinist subscribe to the same school of thought. The former thinks he needs to put the woman in her place, the latter believes that there is a place that woman need to be placed at.

Also, let me put it this way. Imagine if you were a guy, would you go on a date if you had no money?

Now, how about if you were a girl? Would it be possible for the date to take place?

Thanks!