Chicken Soup for the World

I have always thought about it, and if I am unable to publish anything in the next ten years, I will start writing self-help, motivational books.

They are the easiest to write – take some quotes, add some anecdotes, mix it all together with some sloppiness, and serve it four times the price it deserves. You have an instant success.

Since we were banned from reading novels in our school, the only books we could resort to were self-help books. So while my counterparts across the globe were reading about Asterix and Tintin, I was reading Norman Vincent Peale’s pearls of wisdom to the world.

‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’, ‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’, ‘How to Leave the Toilet without Flushing’, you name it, I had read it. For a while, I tried to follow some of the guidelines in the book. Like, one of the ‘secrets’ that Carnegie graciously revealed to the world was this – ‘Read a good book on the sexual side of marriage’. I felt like telling him that if I was allowed to read a good book on the sexual side of even hippopotamuses, I would have stopped reading his crappy book in the first place.

Somewhere along the line, came the Chicken Soup for the Soul books. They were easier on the brain than the other monologues about the secrets to a good life. A collection of 101 stories contributed by readers who spoke about their experiences. Cute.

Then came Part 2. And then 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. And then they started catering to niche audiences – Father’s soul, Teenager’s soul, Mother’s soul, Pet Lover’s soul. And you’d think that since there are more than 200 books, they’d start pricing them cheaper, but no. All the books are 300 rupees. I wonder who even buys them!

I thought since there are so many Chicken Soup books, and all of them are so moralising about the lives of people in the mainstream – fathers, teachers, pet lovers etc. What about the unspoken voices? What about that loser you see on the street who lines up in front of the wine shop at 9 AM and lies down in front of the shop by 10 AM? Doesn’t he deserve a Chicken Soup for his soul? Don’t assholes have souls??

So, on behalf of all the unspoken people in the world, I suggest the franchise comes up with some more titles so that the whole world can sit together and read.

I mean, in the end, can’t we all just solve our problems by reading some Chicken Soup for the Soul?

So, here are my contributions..

Does anyone know how I can get through to some publishers?