Saffron Groups and Pink Crap

Yet another Valentine’s Day has come and gone, and the great protectors of Indian culture, organisations like Bajrang Dal, have woken up from their slumber to protect our great cultural heritage. This activity of protecting our culture is done in many effective ways, like throwing black ink on the faces of the couples, or taking videos of the couples and uploading it on youtube.

These stupid acts not only piss me off a great deal, they are disturbing. Go back to 2009, when Ram Sene activists attacked a pub in Mangalore, dragged women out by their hair and beat them up. (video) But hey, that’s part of Indian culture, man.

Remember how Dushashan pulled Draupadi out of her chambers, dragged her by the hair and pulled her clothes out?

May be the Ram Sene could create a branch called the ‘Dushashan Sene’, who could be employed near pubs and bars, and protect Indian culture.

The National Commission for Women was asked to investigate the case, and this is what Nirmala Venkatesh, a member of the three-member team had to say, “”Everybody was dancing wearing so many nude clothes and all. That is why they did what they did. We women should always try to safeguard ourselves.”

Not surprisingly, Nirmala Venkatesh a few months later joined the Bharatiya Janata Party, saying she was ready to contest the Lok Sabha elections if they gave her a ticket.

This sort of nuisance has been going on for long, and while this is a generalisation, it can be found in states ruled by the NDA alliance, like Karnataka, Madhya Pradesh and Gujarat – states ruled by BJP, having an affiliation towards organisations like VHP, Bajrang Dal, and Ram Sene.

And this is precisely the reason why, in spite of all the scams and scandals in the country, I would never vote for the NDA. Scams and scandals go on. Our economy is a cow, milked by one and all, under different pretexts – none of it affects me directly. But if I vote for the NDA government, some horny bastard might come and pour ink on my girlfriend’s face if I am out with her. That kind of shit affects me, and drives me mad.

For all the bullshit that the BJP propagates, not once did they raise their voice against such criminals.

All this is interesting in the wake of recent reports of BJP ministers caught surfing porn in the Karnataka Assembly. Surprisingly, none of the Ram Sene members so much as raised their voice against this.

But that’s also part of our culture, macha. Remember how Bheeshm, Dhritarashtra and other elders of the court did nothing when Draupadi was being pulled out and stripped??

For years, these jobless fuckers, who have no girlfriends, have taken law into their hands, and threatened to go on a rampage, insulting people who celebrate Valentine’s Day. No government, no party, no organisation, and none of the great NGOs of our country have protested against this vandalism.

What helps these idiots, is that the laws in the Indian Penal Code ratify such acts. Most of the cases booked against couples in parks, abide by the Section 294 of the IPC, drafted as recently as 1860.

294. 4[ Obscene acts and songs.– Whoever, to the annoyance of others,

(a) does any obscene act in any public place, or

(b) sings, recites or utters any obscene song, ballad or words, in or near any public place, shall be punished with imprisonment of either description for a term which may extend to three months, or with fine, or with both.]

Poor Richard Gere, he kissed Shilpa Shetty at a charity event, without knowing that ‘Big Brother’ was someone else, and he was watching. And filing cases.

Surprisingly, most of these actions have the moral sanction of older couples, who believe this is corrupting our ‘culture’. But is culture set in stone, to be abided by generations to come? What about changing times, and shifting cultures?

So how does one get these grumpy old fools to keep pace with the times?

Simply by rubbing it in their faces.

If you go to Goa, you can find couples kissing on the beach, or on the roads, and no one gives a flying fuck. Simply because the local people there are accustomed to seeing people kiss.

Here’s my suggestion:

With so many flash mobs being organised around the country, some organisation should organise flash mobs of couples who go to a public place and kiss. This will at least let people get used to the fact that youngsters will kiss if they are in love (or not), but it is none of their goddamned concern.

In a landmark judgement by the Delhi High Court in 2009, the Court dismissed a case against a married couple, seeing nothing wrong in them kissing, terming it as ‘an act of love’.

So all you flashing mobs of the country, grow some balls. Do something that might help other young people like you, not just dancing to Kolaveri di and Jai Ho!

That’s not going to make a rat’s ass of a difference to us.