If you don’t have balls, bite one: Shahid Afridi

Shahid Afridi, the captain of the Pakistan cricket team, spoke to Hasan Raza about being the captain of the Pakistan team, his life, the vagaries of being in the Pakistan team, and all the questions you have ever had about why the Pakistan team behaves in the way it does.

HR: Firstly, Mr. Afridi, congratulations on taking your team to the Semi Finals. It has been a remarkable achievement for you. A lot of people are wondering if the last decade of Pakistan cricket could be called the “Age of Shahid Afridi”.

SA: The age of Shahid Afridi is 31. You can check Cricinfo for that.

HR: Never mind, sir. Moving on to the next, burning question. You recently commented that Indians do not have large hearts like Muslims and Pakistanis. What exactly do you mean?

SA: (laughs) Oh! It has all been quoted out of context.

HR: How?

SA: See, I was just giving an example. Now take two cricketers, for example. Say, you take Shoaib Akhtar and Laxman Sivaramakrishnan. Who do you think has the bigger heart?

HR: Akhtar??

SA: Exactly! See what I meant? It has all been quoted out of context.

HR: Ahem, yes. But Aamir Sohail termed your comments immature.

SA: Aamir Sohail hai kaun? Usko cricket ka ‘k’ nahi aata hai.

HR: ‘C’, sir.

SA: No, you see what I am telling you….

HR: Never mind. I can see where you’re coming from. Anyway, moving on, another question that always perturbs cricket followers is the behaviour of Pakistani cricketers. Why are they always in the news for the wrong reasons?

SA: (smiles) See, Pakistani cricketers are very passionate people. We believe that whatever you are doing, no matter how highly or lowly the activity, has to be done with passion. Unfortunately, the media misinterprets it as misbehaviour. Look at Salman Butt, his passion made him remind Asif that the next ball had to be a no-ball. And then, look at that no-ball from Asif.

Normally, a fast bowler would just gingerly step across the line. Asif put his entire foot out. That’s what I call playing your heart out. Look at Shoaib Malik, his passion has led to him being happily married today. Look at Shoaib Akhtar, when he felt the passion, he took out his bat and started hitting Asif, he didn’t even care if the media was there. Unfortunately, the Indian media and people do not have large hearts that Allah…

HR: Yes, sir. We know that story. What do you have to say about the issue of no cricket being played in Pakistan for more than two years now?

SA: Ah! Good you pointed it out. That’s another area where we suffer on account of being large-hearted. What do other countries do when foreign teams come visiting? They only show them the good parts of their country. We believe in giving the tourists the true experience of living in the country.

So when Australia toured, our captain Saleem Malik offered them to underplay. When Sri Lanka toured, they got shot at by terrorists. Now, while these might seem like acts of terror, that is what happens in Pakistan everyday. It is just part of the tour. But nobody understands that. It’s all a part of the Western conspiracy to put us down.

HR: I’m sure the world will view your country in new light after this. Moving on, there have been speculations about you announcing your retirement after the semi final loss to India. Is there any truth in it?

SA: No, I intend to play cricket for Pakistan as long as I can. However, I need some time off. So I might just retire from cricket for a few months and then come back again.

HR: That is another question, sir. Why is it that Pakistani cricketers announce their retirements so many times?

SA: See, like I was saying. Pakistan is a nation of passionate people. When they are in the team, they give their 100%. When they are not in the team, they do not wish to interfere in the selection process by being available for selection. Look at any top Pakistani cricketer, they have all gone through this. Javed Miandad retired and came back, and then retired again. Waqar Younis, Wasim Akram, all came back from retirements. Mohammad Yousuf retired recently, and twice earlier when his name was Yousuf Youhana. Hell! He has even retired from the ICL. How much proof do you want?

HR: I see your point, sir. Coming back to you. You have been in the spotlight earlier, and not for the right reasons. Would you still call it the media’s fault?

SA: When was that?

HR: There was once when you were caught trying to change the nature of the pitch in between a test match.

SA: Oh, that. That was just a religious prayer. Have you ever seen Sufi performers? I was just doing that. Is it wrong to pray on the pitch? It is just that the western world, and the media are so biased against us that they keep planting stories in the media.

HR: I get your point, sir. Is there anything else you wish to add?

SA: Ahem, well, you could just publish another interview denying everything the day after, I guess.

HR: Thank you, sir. It has been a real pleasure. Any last words for upcoming cricketers of Pakistan?

SA: Yes. You need passion to play cricket for Pakistan. You need a lot of balls too. If you don’t have balls, bite one.