I had never watched a film in 3D. I watched ‘Avatar’ on my laptop, and going by the orgasmic responses that my friends gave to the film and the technology, I was quite kicked about going to watch a 3D film. Another reason was that I have always been a fan of the Greek mythology stories. They are as full of action as our epics, but with lots more of sex. And then, there was this hero, Sam Worthington, who, according to my friends, “acts well in 3D films”.
You know something is wrong with a film when the catch phrase is “From the hero of ‘Avatar’. But then, I was not paying for the tickets so I thought it must be alright. We waited in line to get the 3D glasses and I was disappointed. I thought the 3D glasses were something cool. One look at it, and I knew I would like someone who was suffering from conjunctivitis.
Then the film began. There was the initial excitement about the 3D technique. Pretty soon, I realised it wasn’t going to be a comfortable feeling. I wear specs. And it is impossible to wear the 3D glasses on top of my regular 2D glasses. I had the option of watching hazy pictures on 3D, or watching clear images on 2D. Since we had paid for the 3D tickets, I chose to watch the film in 3D. I had to hold the glasses over my regular glasses.
Now, coming to the film. It really is terrible. It is like a Bollywood film of the 80s. Hero found as a baby by poor man who raises him and in typical Ramu kaka fashion, dies in front of the hero. The hero gives a “Dog! Rascal! I will drink your blood” look to the camera. You know what happens after that. He meets villian after villian but nothing happens to him. Don’t bother about the plot. It is about the hero here.
I was surprised that the hero did not ask the villain to “Step out if he drank his mother’s milk”. I wouldn’t be surprised. But anyway, since this is supposed to be a review and I am obliged to tell you the story, here goes. Zeus, the king of Gods (in a white shiny suit that looked like it had been saved from the sets of ‘Ajooba’) has a ‘najayaz aulad’ with a human queen. He is sent to earth and then later realises he is a demi-god. The Gods decide to teach human beings a lesson because human beings are mutinying against the Gods. Zeus has an evil brother, Hades (who wears a black dress. Evil, dummy!) who wants to wipe away human beings. So, anyway, our hero goes from one level to another till he kills off all the villains and is helped by huge, scorpions, mummy-like characters etc.
The action scenes are nothing to speak of, and the Perseus’ encounter with Medusa seemed more interesting in Gulmohar Graded English Course, Part V. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes are part of the film, but it is like Amitabh Bachhan doing ‘God Tussi Great Ho’.
Don’t watch this movie, unless someone else is paying for the tickets. If you wear specs, don’t even think about it!
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